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Showing Up for Yourself in Dark Times Is Vital Because There Is Inner Work Only You Can Do
No one can help you as much as you can.
I first felt the dull ache of depression when I was around 5 years old. It found me after an unfortunate incident involving someone I trusted. As time went on, that event slipped further and further into the past, but depression seemed to get closer and closer.
Bouts of depression became a normal thing for me at the age of 12. They would last months at a time, only stopping long enough for me to catch my breath from pure exhaustion. Then, back to the same old numb “I care for nothing” feeling.
Living like this dragged on for years and became my new normal.
Looking for the cure
Eventually, I thought I would try therapy to see if that would help my depression. For the better chunk of my 20s, I saw three therapists, a hypnotherapist, a psychologist specializing in neurofeedback therapy, and I tried EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).
Each of them helped me in their own way, but none of it cured me. Unfortunately, I misunderstood what they were trying to do back then. Now that it’s about 10 years later, it makes more sense.
