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True Love Means Watering the Flower and Not Plucking It
We all want the people closest to us to feel loved. But it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes attachments, desires, and other kinds of selfishness sneak their way in and leave the other person not feeling very loved at all.
To show true love, it has to be selfless. This means having a strong awareness of the other person and what they need. It means having compassion for other’s pain and support for their joy while expecting nothing in return.
Despite my best intentions, when my love gets mixed with desire or craving, it turns from selfless to selfish, and I know the other person can feel that.
Fulfilling desires
Selfish love has a few telltale signs. I’ve found these in myself at times and I’ve seen them play out for others as well.
Benefit seeking
We are all probably familiar with this. It’s showing love in order to gain something in return. This can be gifts, sex, attention, or any other kind of benefit.
A lot of times this behavior has good intentions behind it, but I noticed as soon as I am trying to get something out of someone, then I can’t call it love anymore. It’s just my desire using love as a tool to fulfill itself.
