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Using Compassion To Soothe the Sting of Shame Brought On by Negative Self-Talk

Blake Alan
2 min readMay 6, 2022

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photo by me

I feel the weight of shame pulling me down whenever I make a mistake and fail to live up to my high expectations. I can’t stand it because it does nothing but stop progress and hold me back.

The worst part is no matter how bad I want to get out of that pattern, once it’s started, the gravity it has pulls me back in and keeps me floundering around.

The cure for shame is compassion. It’s able to dismantle the torture chamber that shame creates.

Shame’s system

The first thing I notice shame doing is spinning false or exaggerated stories, which create a very negative outlook on myself.

It’s like if I tell myself enough times that I’m terrible, I’ll eventually believe it. That’s the work of shame.

What this habit ends up creating is a darkened heart. Misery replaces joy which is continually reinforced by the mind’s stories.

All this puts an enormous stress on the body and mind, which leads to exhaustion because it takes tons of energy to stress out like this.

So this system that shame forms is nothing but a complete waste of energy and time spent judging ourselves into submission.

Getting to the root of…

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Blake Alan
Blake Alan

Written by Blake Alan

I like to write, practice mindfulness, and introspect on life.

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